yesterday was so randomly fun.  i went on a video scavenger hunt with val’s youth group..we did lots of random things..and we won..and my prize was a tiedye shirt that says “attitude” and it’s like XXXL. hahaha.. then afterwards i went out with sarahbellum and scooby D and jaydee and nate and kelley..we went to borders and found out the meaning of our names (i am “beacon hill” and i am so confused.  someone please explain this to me.  the dictionary says “1. a signal fire, 2. a guiding or warning signal; a lighthouse, 3. a radio transmitter for airplanes”..) and covered up ALL the boobs in the magazine section.  (let me tell ya, that’s a lot of boobs.)  then we went to steak and shake and jaydee got a paper milkshake.. annnd yeah that’s all.  today church just got me thinking about stuff.  the sermon was about the act of worship..and he talked a lot about musical worship, which i definitely feel called in, and i’m longing so badly to not sit around and waste the time i have to jump into my calling.  you might say “brandon, you already do a lot.”  but i want to do more for God. 

i feel like i’ve hit a brick wall.  i don’t know why.  like i don’t know what to do next or how to do what i feel i’m supposed to.  i came home after church and listened to some stuff i recorded last week..and i dont know.  something just doesn’t feel right with it.  i feel like i’m maybe supposed to move into something.  or do it with a different approach.  or maybe team up with others to let God work through me more.  but i don’t know.  is this satan? is God trying to put a roadblock in front of me so i’ll stop and look at Him?  is there something in front of my face that i’m not seeing?  is there something i need to learn?  why do i feel so lost when a few days ago everything was fine? i’m just confused.  i’m anxious but stuck…excited but discouraged…determined but lost…faithfull but curious…and just ready to be a force that satan will be afraid of.  Lord, please teach me Your ways. 

sorry this was long.  pray for me, guys.. i know it’ll all be fine, i just need to be patient and let God do His stuff.

->hi, my name is brandon and i donevenoh.
listening to: justin mcroberts


3 thoughts on “

  1. did brandy write about “boobs” in his journal? hahaha you are funny. yeah anyways yesterday was the bomb diggity. altho strangers scare me now…haha u prolly more than i….sweet being with u bro…


  2. i’m praying for you…i know what it’s like to not know after you thought you had known, and then you’re like wait…what?  but yeah…just keep doing what you’re doing, trying new things, knocking on new doors, until God opens the one he wants you to go through.
    rock on.


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