mmmm weekends are nice.  last night was boat loads of Fun (with a capital F).  i went to the show, missed into all the earth, kind’ve watched people dance to the 2nd band, and then watched the pits.  all i could think of was the darkness.  they weren’t necessarily bad, just not what i was anticipating.  they said they had a bad night though.   but man oh man, it was fun seeing everyone there.  and then lots of people went to perkins.  i got a helmet of bread.  mmmm.  jaye brought a big tub of cheese balls.  people threw things at emily’s face.  i saw the coolest pie divider ever.  and we talked about poop gnomes.  (see below)

today i got up and went to the scholastics art award ceremony.. i got a gold key (which means my painting goes to nationals) and 2 silvers and 3 honorable mentions.. so that was cool.  then i went to the olive garden with my mom and sister.. then to church for practice tomorrow.  i have to lead worship and do a solo…so you should call come and worship with me.  that’d be fun.  tonight i was supposed to go to akron but the blizzard kinda got in the way of that.  i was sad.. but i whooped my mom and sister at scrabble.  and it’s so great that the weekend’s only half over. 


and now you can read this to either laugh or get weirded out.. (especially if you’re a girl)

first an explanation from dustin..


Dstnjmswht: *ahem* Despite the rumors and vicious lies both male and female genders of the human species have been fed since the begining of time, there is one point that must be addressed. Girls do not poop. Now this may come as a shock to the ladies everywhere, and rightly so. But the truth must be told, for the mental picture of a beautiful girl pooping, just kills your whole image ladies, both for you, and the guys. So do everyone a favor and accept the fact you don’t poop. “But, I know I poop. I…” (yeah we’ll leave it at that). Yes, you may think you poop, but you don’t. How does the poop get there, and why does it feel like you pooped it out? The answer is quite simple. Poop Gnomes. “Poop Gnomes?” Yes, Poop Gnomes. Theres lil gleeful Poop Gnomes that sneak up from under/behind you when you “think” you’re pooping, and they tickle your butt to make you think you pooped and they put poop into the toilet. It’s all part of the ploy ladies to make you think you pooped. So, yes, this may come shocking, but the conclusive results through extensive research has proven true, that a little gnome comes and tickles your butt and puts poop in the toilet to make you think you pooped. But don’t reach in with your hand, they bite those. (and they also hide in creamer containers, as sara found out.)After the poop gnome has tickled your bottom and slipped some poo in the toilet with you unaware, he gleefully frolicks back to his domain doing heel clicks whistling and sinigng “Toodle dee doodle dee poo poo.”

bschmidt777: oh man today in the middle of the awards ceremony
bschmidt777: i thought about the poop gnome
bschmidt777: and i seriously busted into laughter
Dstnjmswht: hhahahaha thats awesome
bschmidt777: and the girl next to me wouldnt leave me alone until i told her what i was laughing at
bschmidt777: and she was like “i love you brandon”
bschmidt777: haha
Dstnjmswht: well…i thought it was a logical explanation as to why girls dont poop
Dstnjmswht: haha
bschmidt777: yeah i do also
bschmidt777: hahaha i’ll have to tell my mom to watch out
Dstnjmswht: haha yeah dont stick your hand in
bschmidt777: hahaha i wonder where poop gnomes came from
Dstnjmswht: haha we’ll find out in Heaven one day
bschmidt777: oh that’ll be the day
Dstnjmswht: it will
Dstnjmswht: and we can run  round and round with the poop gnomes in Heaven and they wont bite our hands, and they wont have the need to tickle girl’s butts…they’ll tickle the butts of the glorious angels
bschmidt777: aw that makes me so gay (in a heterosexually happy way)
bschmidt777: how do the gnomes get the poop?
bschmidt777: the poo factory?
Dstnjmswht: we’ve yet to figure that out
Dstnjmswht: they’re elusive creatures
bschmidt777: man those guys are mysterious
bschmidt777: i’m so glad i’m not a girl
Dstnjmswht: it’s a miracle we’ve learned this much
bschmidt777: oh for sure
bschmidt777: i hear the toilet flushing upstairs
bschmidt777: they’re at it again!

->hi, my name is brandon and you better beware.
listening to: the juliana theory – love


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7 thoughts on “

  1. i just fell off my chair. 
    ARR OH EFF ELLE EM BEE OH!!!!
    i had to wash my hands after i got bit.  who knows where those dirty poop gnomes have been.  well.. we do know.  so that’s why i washed them.  ew. 
    my butt tickles. 

    Like

  2. oh my gosh…hahaha…ya thats definitely one of the funniest posts ever…oh ya, um hi i’m emily, you don’t know me but i read your site all the time and i’ve seen you at some shows before…okay cool, bye

    Like

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