i’m liking college life a lot. 


i’m realizing just how huge my desire to do whatever i can for God really is.  i’m just happy to know that the only desire that really matters is to serve Him.  i like that i don’t have to have some retreat or convention or revival to still feel on a spiritual high and to want so badly to be used by Him.  please don’t think i’m trying to make myself look good by saying that at all.  i’m just really glad for this.


orientation’s finally over.  i know we all complained about it, but i really did enjoy it.  tonight i went out with j-me and my new friend lee after “the main event” and (within about an hour and a half) we saw zac, lisa, josh, chad, ali, tasha, brian, kt, megan, brandon n, jd, shawn, val, and i think i forgot some.  but it made me happy.  and i got to introduce lee to a lot of my friends. 


i’m going home tonight since i have to be at church early.  and hopefully tomorrow i’ll get to do some stuff at church and buy the rest of the stuff i need for college. 


i love you all. a lot.


hi, my name is brandon and you all need to watch the new teen girl squad.

saturday i went to visit my brother and sister-in-law in columbus because they got a new puppy named chester.




he is the coolest puppy ever.

this has gone on long enough. 

it’s time to live again.
                      it’s time to move again.


so here i go,
holding onto the arms of my Creator as tight as i can
(and bringing others with me)
with a smile on my face,
with a song bursting from within,
and with the heavens cheering me on,
joyfully searching for the footsteps He made for me to plant my feet into
so i don’t get lost.

with my eyes on Him, i won’t be lost.
(there’s my problem.)

|  hi, my name is brandon and i’ve been dreaming of an awakening. |

i spared you last night..but that was last night.


-i would like to express my love for cool hand luke.


they are the real deal.  their lyrics feel like they’re taken right out of my thoughts.  they support their songs with scripture.  their music gives me chills.  they let God completely take over their entire ministry.  they’re the real deal.  go listen to them.


coolhandlukeonline.com
purevolume.com/coolhandluke


okay anyways…


i’m at a weird place.  (stop reading if you don’t care.)  i didn’t realize how many people are actually leaving for college, and it makes me sad.  especially since i lost the majority of all contact with a lot of those people this summer.  i don’t think i’m ready for everyone to start going in their own directions. i don’t think i’m ready to go in my own direction..just because i still don’t understand what that is.

-it’s odd to feel completely twisted and mangled inside but know that everything’s perfect at the same time. 


-i know the picture.  i know what ultimately i’m called to do and what God made me to do.. but i feel so blind to the path.  and i know i shouldn’t worry.  it’s my only instinct when nothing ever feels right.  (i’m sorry, Jesus.) 


-i was the one who always knew what i was going to do and where i was going throughout life while everyone else was freaking out about college.  oh, how times change.  it’s now the opposite.


-college is something i’ve wished i could just get to for years.. and now that it’s here, i’m so numb to it.  and it makes me sad.  maybe it’d be different if i were going to anderson, but maybe it wouldn’t.  this semester will show me a lot.  i’m keeping my eyes open, ready to follow. 


-i slip into my own little world when i can’t stop thinking about things.  last night i just kept driving and listening to cool hand luke.. i saw so many random things on the road.  for one thing i almost got hit head on.. later i saw this woman with a stroller and a dog on this random street corner, pacing and looking really nervous.  later i saw this guy in business clothes sprinting down the side of the road.  normally i would wonder so bad what was going on, and for some reason it was like i was moving in slow motion and i just kept going.  (i realized how random those things were when i got home.)


-sometimes such a huge part of me wants to get up and leave.  and the next second i’m so happy that i’m staying where i am.  another second i feel so right…only to lose myself a second later. 


-i haven’t actually felt peace on anything in months.  it makes me tired.


-i miss people a lot, but i don’t think people realize that.  or maybe it just isn’t mutual.  that doesn’t make me miss or love someone any less though.

-everything is so weird.  i don’t know.  gah.


-i’ve been drawing pictures instead of writing in my prayer journal.  they’re the most abstract things i’ve ever created.  but every part makes perfect sense to me.

-i miss art.  it’s been a whole summer since i’ve purposely sat down to create artwork.  i want to do it in college again.  but malone’s art program is so sad.


-i could sit for hours and write down one reason after another why anderson is the perfect college for me.  but why would i turn myself away from that?  God obviously has me here right now for a second.  i just don’t know why nothing feels right. 


-last night someone told me “don’t forget in darkness what God showed you in light.”  that ultimately is the reason i’m still here.  i know God led me into things here that i’m not ready to leave. 


-i got new shoes and jeans tonight. 


-and i like to watch the olympics.


-tomorrow’s my last day of work.  that makes me really happy.


-i wish i wouldn’t have wasted so much of my summer focusing on myself.  i needed it so badly.. but i feel like absolutely nothing happened and i saw nobody. 


this post is going nowhere fast.  but i guess you cared since you’re still reading.  sucka.


->hi, my name is brandon and i’m ready to break out of this nonsense.
listening to: yellow second


___________


         

            Like clay in the potter’s hands
               Mold me, mold me
            Like a child in his father’s arms
               Hold me, hold me 
            Like a sparrow afraid to fly
               Raise me, raise me
            This is just between You and I
               I love You, I love You 

                    Let this song be an offering of my love for You
                   I lay myself down upon Your throne
                    For whatever You want me to do


         For whatever it takes
          And whatever the faith
          I trust You
          For whatever the cost
          And whatever is lost
          I love You
          I love You, Lord

                    If we call out Your name
                    We should see our face
                    If we sacrifice our lives
                    We will see that grace