i miss my real journal.  no more neglecting it.

it’s cool how something you wrote five months ago can speak to you in a whole different way than it did then, but still help in the exact same way. 

it feels like there are a bunch of doors cracked open all around me.  some are closing, some are opening.  but it’s like they’re all stuck.  which makes me feel stuck.  and i’m learning, slowly but surely, that i’m definitely not stuck.  seasons are meant to come and go.  seasons through different aspects of life.  seasons that sometime overlap and come and go at different times.  the reason i’m anticipating such a new, important year is because my seasons all seem to be shifting.  i find it ironic that the weather and my place in life have so much in common.  (or maybe not. that was dumb.)

but here i stand, holding my breath. 
i want to see what happens with those doors.


so i’ll trust You when i cannot see.
so i’ll trust You when the shadows hover over me.
and i’ll love You when the distance leaves me cold.
so i’ll love You.
i’ll still believe that You are sovereign Lord.

Your promises are true, Your mercies always new.
Your love for us is far beyond the infinite, O Lord.

though i fear i walk alone
,
You reach into my soul.
Your love for me is far beyond the infinite.
i’m learning to trust.
i’m learning to feel.
i’m learning to love You always.

-something like silas

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