and fading symphonies
growing tunnels, standing still
and endless questioning
barren season, holding on
but You are faithful. You are glory.
You are seeing me through.
so be made perfect
in this weakness.
beautifully cover me
while You become revealed.
edit: tonight i had an mri. first of all, thanks for any prayers. they were felt big time.
it was probably the scariest thing i’ve ever had to do. (i know i could have been way worse off, and if anyone reading this feels like i’m complaining about nothing or trying to sound like i have it so bad, please don’t get the wrong idea. i’m just writing about my experience.) first i had to sign these papers..(i was finally about to calm down) and when i received the last one, this lady said “and this is for your injection.” if any of you know me, you know that shots are one of my biggest fears in life. i went to the bathroom first and almost passed out. with the mri fear and that added to it, i was pretty much petrified. yes, i’m a wuss. you don’t have to tell me. then the big alien-type mri machine. i went in it and prayed and sang “here i am to worship” really slowly over and over again. i was so shaky that i was like constantly shivering. at one point i fell asleep, then woke up, realized where i was and kind of freaked out (my head was taped down and it was like i was abducted by aliens. haha) they had to redo a test because of it. but God is good. i prayed for my friends doing missions across the world (sarah, sarah, mikkele, kathryn).. halfway through, they took me out. i got the shot. right in the vein. AGHHH the last time i got a shot, i fainted. and that wasn’t even in the vein (thoughts of veins make me sick). but i pretended i got stung by a bee. then i pretended oscar bit me. then i went back in. i asked God to take me somewhere mentally.. almost immediately i was where i was last wednesday during chris tomlin’s concert. i was getting dizzy in the crowd so i went up to the back of the hill on the side where it was open and there was a breeze and i worshipped alone. and by the end of the test, i was laying in a tube smiling and singing (silently) to Jesus. and it was over. and then i couldn’t walk straight. and my arm was tingly. and then i ate french fries. and i have dye in my head.
ps: another way God helped ease the pressure is that one of my good friends through middle and high school (tyler diana) helped do the mri. i haven’t seen him since graduation.