this life, Your canvas.  creation, Your art.  my soul and face, a detail perfectly placed.  not just a speck splashed into a sea, but a will and plan for insignificant me.  i’ve been standing still with my arms stretched out for miles, waiting to fly.  but the time has come where You open my eyes.  so knit my heart and thread my wings as You paint the beauty of things unseen. 

after lots of talks, quiet times, scribbled journal entries, moments on my knees, clarification, prayer, worship, and conversations, i’ve reached a point where i’m actually, totally surrendering myself and accepting whatever and wherever i’m being called to be. 

i don’t claim to have any answeres.. in fact, i’ll be the first to admit i still have no idea what is going on, or what went on for five months.  but i have layed it all down, and i know that my Best Friend and Creator is in complete control of my life.  i have so much to offer, and i can’t wait for the opportunities to pour it out. 

i’m going to anderson this coming weekend to decide if i’m going to be physically able to be at school this semester or not .  if you would be interested in lifting me up in heavy prayer every day this week, please let me know.  i can go into more detail.  but i have to make a decision this weekend, and i just need clarity on where i’m supposed to be.  i see exciting things in both places, but i just want to know His will.  whatever He wants is what i want. 

i’ve come through such a big journey.  i know this might sound weird to people, but for maybe the first time, i know that my faith, trust, and hope is finally authentic.  i’m ready to start life again.

“consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. …blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” james 1:2-6, 12 (niv)

the end.  man, i didn’t mean to make this so long.


9 thoughts on “

  1. What a beautiful entry..i didn’t mean for that to sound so corny, but i really can’t think of any other way to describe it. Besides eloquent and heartfelt. I wasn’t directly looking for encouragement while I was skimming my Xanga subscriptions, but I did need it, and indeed I found it.Thank you.Your layout is very good, do you ever make any for the layout challenged like myself?~Kt*


  2. the best entries are the ones you don’t know are so long untill you get to the end and look back at em.  one of my friends i talked to this year at church camp is going to be an RA at anderson this year.


  3. ps. ok, Brio magazine – which is like the female form of breakaway – is having a photography contest and the winner gets to meet shawn mcdonal WOAH…and i want to plagiarize and take your green-thing-growing-in-the-gutter-picture sooooo bad.


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