my parents killed shrek and ate him for dinner. poor guy.


i don’t really know what it feels like to be depressed, but i think i might be.

but the joy of the Lord is my strength.
and for whatever reason, i’m walking through this valley with a purpose. and i know there’s Light at the end. 

but i’m not about to pretend like i’m superhuman. i’m struggling. and i’m struck down, but i’m not destroyed. His promise will endure.

i need (1) hugs, (2) encouragement, and (3) prayer. 
let me know what can be in prayer over for you, too. 

i don’t like being a downer.

ps.. if you might be serious about praying for me, let me know.. i can be more specific.


oscar’s butt is feeling better.

i wish i was in indiana.
i wish i was my normal self.
i wish i didn’t wish things.

the end.

“for He Himself is our peace.”
-eph 2:14 (niv)

today is my would-be leaving day.  oh well. 
this will all make sense soon enough.

tonight i laid in the wet grass on the side of a hill by myself, watching something so amazing in the sky that nothing i say will do it justice.  it was so big.  and beautiful.  and complex.  and i took 43 pictures of it.

oh Lord, my God, when i (in awesome wonder)
consider all the world Your hands have made,
i see the stars.  i hear the rolling thunder.
Your power throughout the universe displayed.

this is where i see You.

so i’m pretty sure it’s official.. i’ll be in canton until after Christmas.  i don’t know why everything’s a rollercoaster for the past couple years, but it is.  while this is harder than anyone probably realizes, i’m excited to find out why this happened.  it’s hard being confused.  and it’s hard feeling like a downer.  but once i’m completely better, exciting stuff should start. 

disregard this post if you don’t know what i’m talking about.


ps: i think i’m going to start a compaign against the way stores make their workers talk to you when you walk into a store.  after being asked how i was doing at least twenty times yesterday, i was THIS close to unloading a very detailed, exaggerated life story on the next store clerk that tried to be my best friend.  do they really want to know how i’m doing? or what i’m looking for?  what i might wear with something?  what i usually wear? why i don’t like something? why i do like something? why i’m at the mall?  aa;kjd;alfjkada ..maybe i should just shop online.

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i saw scuttle from the little mermaid on friday.

also, i saw more people in the past week than i did all summer. (with the exception of alive.)  it was good.  i miss people, and i’m slowly starting to feel normal again.  i like that.

i think that green is my favorite color right now.  i just decided.

today dustin told me he’s getting a tatoo of jamie as a pirate girl on his arm, and that may be the most random yet hilarious thing i’ve heard in a long time.

i sang the hillary duff song to myself in the mall parking lot when it began to rain today.

last night i got a voicemail from lucille ball and baby bop.  (that was my favorite so far.)

and on a final note, i’ve asked this a lot, but this is the crunch time.  i must decide for real by friday if i’m going to be at anderson this semester, or wait until 2nd semester.  it all depends on my balance system and clarity.  any kind of prayer about that would be greatly appreciated more than you might ever realize.  i’m okay with wherever i’m supposed to be.  there are exciting opportunities on both sides.  i just want to be where He prefers. 

now i’m going to paint giant trees on my wall. 

i don’t really like this post.